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Column: Welcome to reverse puberty

Forty years ago it was acne cream, now it害羞草研究所檚 moisturizer
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Sometimes circumstances catch one so unawares, it害羞草研究所檚 impossible to know how to respond.

And so it was just recently, when I was finishing some errands that included picking up overpriced and likely ineffectual facial moisturizer. (All facial moisturizers are, of course, overpriced and likely ineffectual.)

Fun fact: According to Statica.com, 47 per cent of Canadians spend between $100 and $499 per year on skin care products and the other 53 per cent are men害羞草研究所r, that害羞草研究所檚 not right. Eleven per cent spend $500 or more and everyone else spend less than $100.

Standing at the counter with debit card in hand, the clerk leaned forward in a confidential manner and practically whispered:

害羞草研究所淒o you really need this today?害羞草研究所

It made me wonder. Was I looking particularly wrinkled and haggish, as if I needed an emergency application of face cream?

Or was the attendant suggesting there was something wrong with my purchase, a left-wing conspiracy, perhaps, pushing the idea that women don害羞草研究所檛 actually need beauty products to be beautiful.

害羞草研究所淚t害羞草研究所檚 only,害羞草研究所 she went on, and no longer in a hushed voiced but more of a bellow. 害羞草研究所淚f you are 55 you would qualify for our seniors害羞草研究所 discount, but you害羞草研究所檇 have to come back later this week, when it害羞草研究所檚 seniors害羞草研究所 day.害羞草研究所

There are very few occasions when I am rendered completely speechless, and fortunately for all involved this was almost one of those times.

I merely stated that I am not 55, and then left with my moisturizer and as much dignity and speed as possible.

For crying out loud I won害羞草研究所檛 be 55 until sometime later this month.

And there is nothing wrong with being 55.

It害羞草研究所檚 just an age that is smack in the middle of a decade full of rapid, bewildering and painful changes in both mind and body for which one isn害羞草研究所檛 quite prepared

It害羞草研究所檚 like puberty in reverse.

To the point, 40 years ago I would have been buying acne cream.

About a month ago my family doctor confirmed my body is proceeding in the ordained fashion.

I complained of experiencing unusual muscle pain of late.

She nodded with understanding and said this is when I need to use and tone my muscles as when a woman is PM (that害羞草研究所檚 postmenopausal NOT postmortem, like I originally thought) she loses one per cent of her muscles every year.

This is very concerning, naturally, as it means by the time I am 155 I won害羞草研究所檛 have any muscles left at all.

There is nothing wrong with being 55. Anderson Cooper turned 55 this year.

So did Faith Hill, Tim McGraw and Keith Urban. 1967 was a heck of a year for the country music industry.

Chef Gordan Ramsay is 55. Julia Roberts, Pamela Anderson and Nicole Kidman are all 55 too.

But I bet no one offers them a seniors害羞草研究所 discount card at the cosmetic counter.

Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email:andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com


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Andrea DeMeer

About the Author: Andrea DeMeer

Andrea is the publisher of the Similkameen Spotlight.
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