It took nearly half a century for Birch Parlee to be herself.
Christened at birth in 1965 as Bernard Thomas, the first-born son of an evangelical minister, she spoke candidly with the Spotlight about her path.
害羞草研究所淚n about Grade 3 or 4, about the time I really became aware that boys and girls were different, I wanted to be a girl. I started to imitate girls and it didn害羞草研究所檛 take me long to find out that wasn害羞草研究所檛 cool害羞草研究所 lot of bullying and teasing followed me throughout my school years,害羞草研究所� she said.
害羞草研究所淭here was a sense of misalignment that I didn害羞草研究所檛 have any language to understand. I saw it as something fundamentally wrong with me.害羞草研究所�
Pressured to conform to family expectations and social norms, she was a church worship leader for 15 years.
害羞草研究所淚 buried it. I pushed it down. I lived a lie.害羞草研究所�
She grew a full beard and went so far as to pursue 害羞草研究所渕anly害羞草研究所� occupations, was a commercial fisher for 15 years, and later a farmworker and truck driver.
Two marriages ended in divorce 害羞草研究所渁nd a lot of heartache害羞草研究所hey both needed a man and I cannot be one. I think that would be the way to boil it down.害羞草研究所�
Birch is one of approximately 132,000 transgender people living across our nation, according to Statistics Canada.
While encouraging curiosity, she waves off the need for politically correct language.
害羞草研究所淚 don害羞草研究所檛 get my panties in a bunch about that.害羞草研究所�
Birch began coming out publicly about three years ago, shortly after moving to the community with her partner Saskia.
害羞草研究所淎 quite elderly woman in this town, who was attending a function at the library, walked up to me afterwards and said 害羞草研究所榟ello.害羞草研究所� She asked me if I considered myself a woman or a man in a dress. For me, that wasn害羞草研究所檛 offensive. It was an opportunity for me to tell a bit of my story.害羞草研究所�
It was Saskia who created a space where Birch could be honest.
害羞草研究所淪askia was someone who loved me in a way that I felt safe and I could be honest with her. Once I was honest with her, out of those conversations, I finally was able to admit it to myself. I no longer felt there was something wrong with me. I am just different.害羞草研究所�
The relationship was already mostly devoid of gender roles and stereotypes. 害羞草研究所淭he only thing that was different was that I was able to let go of pretending in any way of being a man, or trying.害羞草研究所�
Recently Birch changed her name and her legal gender and the two were married in August 2020.
害羞草研究所淚 am legally a woman and we are legally a lesbian couple, but she doesn害羞草研究所檛 really like labels.害羞草研究所�
Birch receives a hormone therapy of estrogen and progesterone and noted many transgender people regard questions about surgery 害羞草研究所渁s nobody else害羞草研究所檚 business.害羞草研究所�
She said: 害羞草研究所淚n the initial phase, I couldn害羞草研究所檛 even comprehend it and I was perhaps in judgment of people who did it. In the beginning, I believed that it is what害羞草研究所檚 inside that matters. The problem is outside is perpetually undermining your sense of inside and I think trans people do become a little bit obsessed with their appearance. It is an attempt to bring your inside and your outside into alignment.害羞草研究所�
Birch described the acceptance of the Princeton community 害羞草研究所渁s almost unbelievably positive in many, many ways.害羞草研究所� Still, she added, 害羞草研究所渢here are certain places I don害羞草研究所檛 go, where I don害羞草研究所檛 feel quite safe.害羞草研究所�
And she remarked with consternation on a recent Spotlight story about an altercation at a local bar allegedly incited by slurs against a transgender patron.
For the most part, Birch害羞草研究所檚 family, including two children, step-children and siblings, are supportive.
害羞草研究所淢y father tries,害羞草研究所� she said, 害羞草研究所渂ut it害羞草研究所檚 hard.害羞草研究所�
When asked what advice she would give her younger self, she does not hesitate.
害羞草研究所淒on害羞草研究所檛 be afraid. Don害羞草研究所檛 hide. Find a way to be yourself. It害羞草研究所檚 a journey害羞草研究所eople assume that I made a choice to be trans and people really need to understand it isn害羞草研究所檛 something you choose. It害羞草研究所檚 something you are and the choice is whether or not you accept it.害羞草研究所�
Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email:andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com
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