Tayla Jackson was unhappy, but she didn害羞草研究所檛 know why.

Those around her may not have noticed anything was amiss, but Jackson could not shake a feeling of uneasiness trapped inside.

The combination of stress and anxiety became so bad, Jackson walked away from the game she loved, basketball.

But when one chapter ends, another begins, and for Jackson, that means sharing her story and her struggles with other student-athletes facing similar issues through her new blog, .

The blog examines the battles that student-athletes face away from the game and offers a way for them to connect with others experiencing similar struggles.

Jackson, who turns 21 later this month, first noticed the signs when she began university following graduation from Langley害羞草研究所檚 Brookswood Secondary in 2015.

She was attending the University of California Irvine on a basketball scholarship following an outstanding high school career with the Brookswood Bobcats as one of the province害羞草研究所檚 top players.

From the time she began high school in Grade 8, Jackson played on the senior girls team, and did not look out of place, helping the Bobcats to five top-four finishes at provincials, including silver in Grade 10 and gold in the final two seasons.

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However, after one season in California, she returned home to Surrey to attend Simon Fraser University and play for the Clan.

But something was still not right.

害羞草研究所淚 didn害羞草研究所檛 know why I couldn害羞草研究所檛 shake this stress of the everyday routine because every day was pretty much the same,害羞草研究所� Jackson explained.

害羞草研究所淚 always had this little bit shortness of breath and stress deep inside my chest and I didn害羞草研究所檛 know why I had that feeling 害羞草研究所� I had never experienced that before. It was almost like I was freaking out over something I couldn害羞草研究所檛 figure out and what it was and it would make things worse.害羞草研究所�

Jackson always knew playing her sport at the highest level would be difficult but she admits to having no idea what it would entail mentally and emotionally.

害羞草研究所淚 knew going into it that it would be hard but I thought as long as I put the ball in the hoop, everything else would fall into place,害羞草研究所� she explained.

Jackson 害羞草研究所� who is studying to be an elementary school teacher 害羞草研究所� played a big role on the Clan this past season, as the team害羞草研究所檚 second-leading scorer and rebounder at 11.9 points and 4.6 rebounds, respectively, per game.

But the past three years have been filled with stress and anxiety.

害羞草研究所淚 would wake up and throw up because the stress would put my stomach into knots,害羞草研究所� she explained.

Even achieving on-court success did little to alleviate what she was experiencing internally.

害羞草研究所淚 was hitting all the milestones that I had imagined for myself but I didn害羞草研究所檛 feel satisfied whatsoever,害羞草研究所� she said. 害羞草研究所淚 still tossed and turned, not wanting to wake up in the morning and do it all over again 害羞草研究所� and I couldn害羞草研究所檛 explain what I was feeling or why I was feeling it.害羞草研究所�

She also felt that the demands of the sport were transforming her from who she really is.

害羞草研究所淚 really lost touch of my spark,害羞草研究所� she explained. 害羞草研究所淚 definitely think it was hard to spend every day trying to be shifted and moulded into someone who I wasn害羞草研究所檛 naturally.害羞草研究所�

So she quit basketball.

Whereas Jackson felt like she was walking on eggshells before the decision, she now feels free.

She also decided to launch her blog last month.

害羞草研究所淲earing your heart on your sleeve, putting it out there, you are making yourself so vulnerable to people, you don害羞草研究所檛 know how they are going to react,害羞草研究所� Jackson said. 害羞草研究所淏ut knowing that someone can relate or understand, makes it all worthwhile.

害羞草研究所淭his is an expose of my experiences in hopes that others (can) deal with their own emotional struggles.害羞草研究所�

Her message is simple.

害羞草研究所淵ou need to know you are worth fighting for,害羞草研究所� she said. 害羞草研究所淎nd you need to put your happiness first.害羞草研究所�

sports@langleytimes.com
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