Twice each month, executives at the dating app company Hinge gather for a team meeting. But rather than dive into discussions about metrics or revenue, they begin by simply talking.

For the first 30 minutes of the two-hour meeting, these coworkers reveal hopes and anxieties 害羞草研究所� what they worry about, what they害羞草研究所檙e grateful for, what they害羞草研究所檙e feeling. Even at a company focused on connecting people, forging real relationships in the workplace takes effort, Hinge CEO Justin McLeod told an audience at the South by Southwest conference earlier this year. He was co-presenting at the event with Ann Shoket, whose initiative to combat workplace loneliness is called 害羞草研究所�10 Minutes to Togetherness.害羞草研究所�

As America navigates what Surgeon General Vivek Murthy described last year as employers and employees across the country are trying to address what for many people is a lack of real friendships at work.

Remote meetings of `little heads in squares害羞草研究所�

The problem of loneliness has been bubbling for decades; Robert D. Putnam documented it in his groundbreaking book 害羞草研究所淏owling Alone害羞草研究所� nearly a quarter-century ago. Remote work has only intensified the problem, for extroverts and introverts alike, says leadership expert Michael Bungay Stanier, author of 害羞草研究所淗ow to Work with (Almost) Anyone.害羞草研究所�

害羞草研究所淧eople have this desire to be seen and be heard,害羞草研究所� Bungay Stanier says, but on video calls, the group gets right to the business at hand rather than having the natural, informal interactions of a real room. It reduces people to 害羞草研究所渓ittle heads in squares.害羞草研究所�

It害羞草研究所檚 not easy to talk about this lack of friendship at work 害羞草研究所渂ecause it feels like a shameful confession,害羞草研究所� Bungay Stanier says. But his clients are beginning to bring up the subject.

Awkward as it may be, these are conversations worth having, according to psychology professor Laurie Santos, creator of Yale University害羞草研究所檚 well-known class 害羞草研究所淭he Science of Well Being.害羞草研究所�

At-work friendships are good for employers, too

In her own presentation at South by Southwest earlier this year, Santos cited research that showed workplace friendships and a sense of belonging are vital to employees害羞草研究所� happiness 害羞草研究所�- and companies害羞草研究所� success.

We assume that friendships at work are 害羞草研究所渁 nice-to-have, not a need-to-have,害羞草研究所� she said.

But 害羞草研究所渕aybe one of the reasons we害羞草研究所檙e all so disengaged at work, maybe one of the reasons 害羞草研究所榪uiet quitting害羞草研究所� seems so appealing, is that we害羞草研究所檙e actively not investing in the thing that might matter the most for our happiness at work, which is our connection with other people,害羞草研究所� Santos said.

New spaces, new programs and `casual collisions害羞草研究所�

Some large companies began paying more attention to employee health long before the pandemic, often focusing on the physical: adding a gym to the office building or serving healthier food in the cafeteria.

Today, more employers 害羞草研究所渁re not just checking boxes, but actually looking at ways to really enhance people害羞草研究所檚 health and well-being,害羞草研究所� says Suzanne Heidelberger, who has led teams managing real-estate problems for global companies including American Express and Fidelity Investments. She focuses on bringing a hospitality mindset to corporate spaces.

For example, employers might:

害羞草研究所� Rethink physical spaces with relationships in mind, she says. Some companies are adding staircases, both to help people get more steps and to encourage the 害羞草研究所渃asual collisions害羞草研究所� that can lead to good relationships. Some are trying to transform green rooftops 害羞草研究所� created to be environmentally friendly 害羞草研究所� into gathering spaces.

害羞草研究所� Create groups and events to help employees find friends who share their interests. 害羞草研究所淚t could even be something goofy, like an ice cream social for dog lovers, where we害羞草研究所檙e going to teach you how to make healthy ice cream for your dog,害羞草研究所� Heidelberger says.

害羞草研究所� Offer online gatherings as well. During the pandemic, American Express offered online cooking classes that helped employees feel connected and introduced them to coworkers.

What employees can do

Employees are also seeking answers on their own, notes executive coach Daniel Boscaljon, founder of the Healthy Relationship Academy, which helps organizations build better workplaces.

It害羞草研究所檚 not always easy: As much as people crave relationships, he says, many lack strong interpersonal skills.

害羞草研究所淲hen you meet somebody with good relationship skills, a lot of times it害羞草研究所檚 like magic,害羞草研究所� Boscaljon says. 害羞草研究所淧eople open up, they害羞草研究所檒l start to talk, they害羞草研究所檒l feel comfortable. Then, sometimes, they害羞草研究所檒l have kind of a 害羞草研究所榲ulnerability hangover,害羞草研究所� where they害羞草研究所檙e like, 害羞草研究所業 was too open there. What just happened?害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所� People are so unused to it.害羞草研究所�

One key, he says, is to work on one害羞草研究所檚 own well-being. 害羞草研究所淵ou can害羞草研究所檛 have a work personality and a home personality,害羞草研究所� he says. 害羞草研究所淲ho you are as a whole person shows up in every place that you害羞草研究所檙e in.害羞草研究所�

Another strategy, according to Bungay Stanier, is to communicate with coworkers about how you can best work together before you dive into a project.

害羞草研究所淲e害羞草研究所檝e all got our small little habits and preferences,害羞草研究所� he says. 害羞草研究所淎nd we assume what害羞草研究所檚 normal for us is normal for everyone.害羞草研究所�

Raising issues beforehand helps you 害羞草研究所渁void making small rips in the fabric of a relationship害羞草研究所� that keep people from becoming friends, Bungay Stanier says.

Those inevitable rips are also worth discussing. 害羞草研究所淭he relationships that thrive are ones that get repaired,害羞草研究所� he says.

Say hi

More than anything, remember the importance of everyday greetings at work 害羞草研究所� even if they make you a bit uncomfortable. A simple hello, Bungay Stanier says, could be the beginning of the end of loneliness.

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