Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the diminutive sex therapist who became a pop icon, media star and best-selling author through her frank talk about once-taboo bedroom topics, has died. She was 96.

Westheimer died on Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, according to publicist and friend Pierre Lehu.

Westheimer never advocated risky sexual behavior. Instead, she encouraged an open dialogue on previously closeted issues that affected her audience of millions. Her one recurring theme was there was nothing to be ashamed of.

害羞草研究所淚 still hold old-fashioned values and I害羞草研究所檓 a bit of a square,害羞草研究所� she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. 害羞草研究所淪ex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.害羞草研究所�

Westheimer害羞草研究所檚 giggly, German-accented voice, coupled with her 4-foot-7 frame, made her an unlikely looking 害羞草研究所� and sounding 害羞草研究所� outlet for 害羞草研究所渟exual literacy.害羞草研究所� The contradiction was one of the keys to her success.

But it was her extensive knowledge and training, coupled with her humorous, nonjudgmental manner, that catapulted her local radio program, 害羞草研究所淪exually Speaking,害羞草研究所� into the national spotlight in the early 1980s. She had an open approach to what two consenting adults did in the privacy of their home.

害羞草研究所淭ell him you害羞草研究所檙e not going to initiate,害羞草研究所� she told a concerned caller in June 1982. 害羞草研究所淭ell him that Dr. Westheimer said that you害羞草研究所檙e not going to die if he doesn害羞草研究所檛 have sex for one week.害羞草研究所�

As a sign of her appeal across the generations and social culture, tributes came from actor-comedian Adam Sandler 害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所淪he always made us smile,害羞草研究所� he wrote on X 害羞草研究所� to New York Gov. Kathy Hochul, who appointed Westheimer the state害羞草研究所檚 Ambassador of Loneliness. 害羞草研究所淢ay her memory be a blessing,害羞草研究所� said the governor in a statement. 害羞草研究所漇he was brave, funny, candid and brilliant.害羞草研究所�

Her radio success opened new doors, and in 1983 she wrote the first of more than 40 books: 害羞草研究所淒r. Ruth害羞草研究所檚 Guide to Good Sex,害羞草研究所� demystifying sex with both rationality and humor. There was even a board game, Dr. Ruth害羞草研究所檚 Game of Good Sex.

She soon became a regular on the late-night television talk-show circuit, bringing her personality to the national stage. Her rise coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, when frank sexual talk became a necessity.

害羞草研究所淚f we could bring about talking about sexual activity the way we talk about diet 害羞草研究所� the way we talk about food 害羞草研究所� without it having this kind of connotation that there害羞草研究所檚 something not right about it, then we would be a step further. But we have to do it with good taste,害羞草研究所� she told Johnny Carson in 1982.

She normalized the use of words like 害羞草研究所減enis害羞草研究所� and 害羞草研究所渧agina害羞草研究所� on radio and TV, aided by her Jewish grandmotherly accent, which The Wall Street Journal once said was 害羞草研究所渁 cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse.害羞草研究所� People magazine included her in their list of 害羞草研究所淭he Most Intriguing People of the Century.害羞草研究所� She even made it into a Shania Twain song: 害羞草研究所淣o, I don害羞草研究所檛 need proof to show me the truth/Not even Dr. Ruth is gonna tell me how I feel.害羞草研究所�

Westheimer defended abortion rights, suggested older people have sex after a good night害羞草研究所檚 sleep and was an outspoken advocate of condom use. She believed in monogamy.

In the 1980s, she stood up for gay men at the height of the AIDS epidemic and spoke out loudly for the LGBTQ community. She said she defended people deemed by some far-right Christians to be 害羞草研究所渟ubhuman害羞草研究所� because of her own past.

Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, she was an only child. At 10, she was sent by her parents to Switzerland to escape Kristallnacht 害羞草研究所� the Nazis害羞草研究所� 1938 pogrom that served as a precursor to the Holocaust. She never saw her parents again; Westheimer believed they were killed in the gas chambers at Auschwitz.

At the age of 16, she moved to Palestine and joined the Haganah, the underground movement for Israeli independence. She was trained as a sniper, although she said she never shot at anyone.

Her legs were severely wounded when a bomb exploded in her dormitory, killing many of her friends. She said it was only through the work of a 害羞草研究所渟uperb害羞草研究所� surgeon that she could walk and ski again.

She married her first husband, an Israeli soldier, in 1950, and they moved to Paris as she pursued an education. Although not a high school graduate, Westheimer was accepted into the Sorbonne to study psychology after passing an entrance exam.

The marriage ended in 1955; the next year, Westheimer went to New York with her new boyfriend, a Frenchman who became her second husband and father to her daughter, Miriam.

In 1961, after a second divorce, she finally met her life partner: Manfred Westheimer, a fellow refugee from Nazi Germany. The couple was married and had a son, Joel. They remained wed for 36 years until 害羞草研究所淔red害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所� as she called him 害羞草研究所� died of heart failure in 1997.

After receiving her doctorate in education from Columbia University, she went on to teach at Lehman College in the Bronx. While there she developed a specialty 害羞草研究所� instructing professors how to teach sex education. It would eventually become the core of her curriculum.

害羞草研究所淚 soon realized that while I knew enough about education, I did not really know enough about sex,害羞草研究所� she wrote in her 1987 autobiography. Westheimer then decided take classes with the renowned sex therapist, Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan.

It was there that she had discovered her calling. Soon, as she once said in a typically folksy comment, she was dispensing sexual advice 害羞草研究所渓ike good chicken soup.害羞草研究所�

害羞草研究所淚 came from an Orthodox Jewish home so sex for us Jews was never considered a sin,害羞草研究所� she told The Guardian in 2019.

In 1984, her radio program was nationally syndicated. A year later, she debuted in her own television program, 害羞草研究所淭he Dr. Ruth Show,害羞草研究所� which went on to win an Ace Award for excellence in cable television.

She also wrote a nationally syndicated advice column and later appeared in a line of videos produced by Playboy, preaching the virtues of open sexual discourse and good sex. She even had a series of calendars.

Her rise was noteworthy for the culture of the time, in which then-President Ronald Reagan害羞草研究所檚 administration was hostile to Planned Parenthood and aligned with pro-conservative voices.

Phyllis Schlafly, a staunch anti-feminist, wrote in a 1999 piece 害羞草研究所淭he Dangers of Sex Education,害羞草研究所� that Westheimer, as well as Gloria Steinem, Anita Hill, Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres and others were promoting 害羞草研究所減rovocative sex chatter害羞草研究所� and 害羞草研究所渞ampant immorality.害羞草研究所�

Father Edwin O害羞草研究所橞rien, the director of communications for the Catholic archdiocese of New York who would go on to become a cardinal, called her work upsetting and morally compromised.

害羞草研究所淚t害羞草研究所檚 pure hedonism,害羞草研究所� O害羞草研究所橞rien wrote in a 1982 opinion published by The Wall Street Journal. 害羞草研究所淭he message is just indulge yourself; whatever feels good is good. There is no higher law of overriding morality, and there害羞草研究所檚 also no responsibility.害羞草研究所�

Westheimer made appearances on 害羞草研究所淭he Howard Stern Radio Show,害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所淣ightline,害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所淭he Tonight Show,害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所淭he Ellen DeGeneres Show,害羞草研究所� 害羞草研究所淭he Dr. Oz Show害羞草研究所� and 害羞草研究所淟ate Night with David Letterman.害羞草研究所� She played herself in episodes of 害羞草研究所淨uantum Leap害羞草研究所� and 害羞草研究所淟ove Boat: The Next Wave.害羞草研究所�

Her books include 害羞草研究所淪ex for Dummies,害羞草研究所� her autobiographical works 害羞草研究所淎ll in a Lifetime害羞草研究所� (1987) and 害羞草研究所淢usically Speaking: A Life through Song害羞草研究所� (2003). The documentary 害羞草研究所淎sk Dr. Ruth害羞草研究所� aired in 2019.

During her time as a radio and television personality, she remained committed to teaching, with posts at Yale, Hunter, Princeton and Columbia universities and a busy college lecture schedule. She also maintained a private practice throughout her life.

Westheimer received an honorary doctorate from Hebrew Union College-Institute of Religion for her work in human sexuality and her commitment to the Jewish people, Israel and religion. In 2001 she received the Ellis Island Medal of Honor and the Leo Baeck Medal, and in 2004, she received the degree of Doctor of Letters, honoris causa, from Trinity College.

Ryan White, the director of 害羞草研究所淎sk Dr. Ruth,害羞草研究所� that Westheimer was never someone following trends. She was always an ally of gay rights and an advocate for family planning.

害羞草研究所淪he was at the forefront of both of those things throughout her entire life. I met her friends from her orphanage saying even when she met gay people throughout her life in the 害羞草研究所�30s, 害羞草研究所�40s, and 害羞草研究所�50s she was always accepting of those people and always saying that people should be treated with respect.害羞草研究所�

She is survived by two children, Joel and Miriam, and four grandchildren.

Mark Kennedy, The Associated Press