By Tim Collins
This is the story of a courageous man who has travelled a tough road to find himself.
His name is Eli Mitchell.
He lives in Sidney and two years ago, at 62 years old, he chose to transition from being a woman to a man. But before we talk about Eli, let害羞草研究所檚 consider a little background.
The evolving nature of gender identity has galvanized opinions around the world and, some would say, created a disproportionate level of concern on the subject. Canadians have not been immune to this phenomenon.
A 2023 Angus Reid survey found more than half (56 per cent) of Canadians are entrenched in their view that individuals should be identified as male or female 害羞草研究所� while 34 per cent said that is too limiting 害羞草研究所� and hate crimes against the 2SLGBTQIA+ community are on the rise, according to Canadians United Against Hate.
The 2021 census and information compiled by Statistics Canada found that one in 300 people in Canada aged 15 and older identified as transgender or non-binary.
Protests that mirror the transphobia, biphobia and homophobia wave that has engulfed parts of the United States have been on the rise in Canada. Books have been banned while protests and threats of violence have been on the rise.
Within that context, let害羞草研究所檚 get back to Mitchell.
Elizabeth Mitchell moved to Sidney in January 2018 after retiring from a career as a radio operator for the Canadian Coast Guard.
She started attending St. Paul害羞草研究所檚 United Church and became a valued volunteer, joining the property committee and then branching out to take on other volunteer jobs in the community such as driving seniors to their medical appointments.
Then life changed.
害羞草研究所淚 was on a cruise in 2022 and something happened,害羞草研究所� Mitchell said. 害羞草研究所淚 can害羞草研究所檛 explain it, but something happened. Eli woke up and I realized that what I was doing just wasn害羞草研究所檛 working. That害羞草研究所檚 when I came out to myself.害羞草研究所�
It wasn害羞草研究所檛 long after that, returning home, Mitchell announced his epiphany to the congregation of his church.
害羞草研究所淚 stood up in church one day 害羞草研究所� and I had no idea that this was coming 害羞草研究所� and I went up to the mike and told them [that I wanted to transition]. It was something I just needed to do.害羞草研究所�
According to Mitchell, this awakening took a long time coming.
害羞草研究所淚 grew up as a girl but never felt like a girl or, later, a woman. I was definitely never a lady,害羞草研究所� Mitchell said. 害羞草研究所淚f someone had called me that, I would have slugged them.害羞草研究所�
害羞草研究所淲hen I was a little kid, I wanted my mother to put a fly in my pajamas. She wouldn害羞草研究所檛 do it,害羞草研究所� Mitchell added. 害羞草研究所淚n grade four at school, I always wanted to line up with the boys. I liked going out when I was eight or nine wearing shorts and no top, just like the other boys. In high school, I wanted to take shop instead of home economics. The list goes on, but all the markers were always there.害羞草研究所�
And in terms of sexual attraction, things were equally confusing.
害羞草研究所淚 was never a lesbian. I害羞草研究所檓 not attracted to women; I害羞草研究所檓 attracted to men. But all the boyfriends I害羞草研究所檇 had had not been right because they were straight. I was attracted to gay guys, but they were not accessible to me.害羞草研究所�
Mitchell also relayed how he害羞草研究所檇 always wanted a beard (he has one now) and how he finally has been able to join a men害羞草研究所檚 choir, something he害羞草研究所檇 wanted to do for 30 years.
But beyond the numerous 害羞草研究所榤arkers害羞草研究所�, Mitchell said he害羞草研究所檇 always known he was not in the right body.
After coming out to the community, Mitchell started his hormone therapy and began his surgical transition. He also changed his name to Eli and was re-baptized under that name.
And while Mitchell reports that he is now happy with himself, perhaps for the first time in his life, he doesn害羞草研究所檛 see himself as an advocate for the trans-community or for 2SLGBTQIA+ issues.
害羞草研究所淚 won害羞草研究所檛 stand on a soapbox and try to change people害羞草研究所檚 minds about things; all I know is what was right for me,害羞草研究所� Mitchell said.
Asked about his feelings on the anti-trans sentiment that seems to be on the rise, he害羞草研究所檚 philosophic.
害羞草研究所淚t saddens me,害羞草研究所� Mitchell said. 害羞草研究所淯nderstand that I didn害羞草研究所檛 have a choice. It wasn害羞草研究所檛 me making a choice. It would have been a choice not to do it once I had woken up. If I can just talk to people openly as I meet them and maybe change a few minds or educate some people, then I害羞草研究所檝e done my job.害羞草研究所�
And while Mitchell is now at peace with his transition, he wondered how the community had reacted.
害羞草研究所淲hen I made my announcement in church, all I felt was the love and acceptance all around me,害羞草研究所� Mitchell said.
Reverend Cheryl Black confirmed Mitchell害羞草研究所檚 perception.
害羞草研究所淚 don害羞草研究所檛 think there was a single person (in the congregation) that was negative about it,害羞草研究所� Black said. 害羞草研究所淓lizabeth was well known by the congregation and people didn害羞草研究所檛 know exactly what it meant害羞草研究所� nor, I suppose, did Eli. We just said, 害羞草研究所榃hatever this transition is, we love you; whatever happens害羞草研究所�.害羞草研究所�
害羞草研究所淧eople can now see the difference in his zest for life. Becoming himself has released energy and his enthusiasm for life. He now has an anticipation of what the days are going to bring and is comfortable in how he thinks and presents himself. It害羞草研究所檚 in congruence with who he害羞草研究所檚 always been.害羞草研究所�
Mitchell害羞草研究所檚 neighbour (who asked to go unnamed) agrees.
害羞草研究所淚害羞草研究所檝e known Eli since 2015 and I害羞草研究所檓 very happy for him. He seems so much happier,害羞草研究所� said the neighbour. 害羞草研究所淚t takes some courage. Even if he isn害羞草研究所檛 facing people who openly take him on right now, you know that he害羞草研究所檚 going to encounter some at some point害羞草研究所ven if it害羞草研究所檚 just microaggressions.害羞草研究所�
The neighbour is particularly relevant to the situation since, more than two years ago, one of his two sons began the transition process and is now identified as a girl.
害羞草研究所淚t害羞草研究所檚 been apparent for years that she is trapped in the wrong body. She害羞草研究所檚 on hormone blockers now and we are working with her to allow her the time to develop the maturity she needs to make her final decisions,害羞草研究所� he said. 害羞草研究所淭his fall, she害羞草研究所檒l be attending a new school where some of the kids know her, but for the most part everyone has been very supportive.害羞草研究所�
Mitchell spoke about witnessing this transition as an important, perhaps critical factor in his own awakening.
害羞草研究所淚 saw this little girl doing this very hard thing and I saw that she had the courage to do what I wished I害羞草研究所檇 done when I was young,害羞草研究所� said Mitchell. 害羞草研究所淭here are people who oppose transitioning and come up with excuses like the (monetary) cost to society. My response is that you can pay those costs, or you can deal with the costs of cleaning up after people who turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with a broken life. Even worse, you can deal with suicides.害羞草研究所�
害羞草研究所淎ll I know is that I害羞草研究所檓 happy now,害羞草研究所� said Mitchell. 害羞草研究所淚 know that I won害羞草研究所檛 be dying in the wrong body.害羞草研究所�
