At what age should kids be on social media? Should they be on it at all? If they aren害羞草研究所檛, will they be social pariahs? Should parents monitor their conversations? Do parental controls work?

Navigating social media as a parent 害羞草研究所� not to mention a child 害羞草研究所� is not easy. Using social media platforms is still the default for most American teenagers, with the Pew Research Center reporting that 58% of teens are daily users of TikTok, including 17% who describe their TikTok use as almost constant. About half of teens use Snapchat and Instagram daily, with near-constant use at 14% and 8% for each, respectively.

But parents 害羞草研究所� and even some teens themselves 害羞草研究所� are growing increasingly concerned about the effects of social media use on young people. Lawmakers have taken notice and have held multiple congressional hearings on child online safety. But even with apparent bipartisan unity, making laws and regulating companies takes time. So far, no regulation has passed.

What are parents 害羞草研究所� and teens 害羞草研究所� supposed to do in the meantime? Here are some tips on staying safe, communicating and setting limits on social media 害羞草研究所� for kids as well as their parents.

IS 13 THE MAGIC AGE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA?

There害羞草研究所檚 already, technically, a rule that prohibits kids under 13 from using platforms that advertise to them without parental consent: The Children害羞草研究所檚 Online Privacy Protection Act that went into effect in 2000, before today害羞草研究所檚 teenagers were even born.

The goal was to protect kids害羞草研究所� online privacy by requiring websites and online services to disclose clear privacy policies and get parents害羞草研究所� consent before gathering personal information on their kids, among other things. To comply, social media companies have generally banned kids under 13 from signing up for their services.

But times have changed, and online privacy is no longer the only concern when it comes to kids being online. There害羞草研究所檚 bullying, harassment, the risk of developing eating disorders, suicidal thoughts or worse.

For years, there has been a push among parents, educators and tech experts to wait to give children phones 害羞草研究所� and access to social media 害羞草研究所� until they are older, such as the 害羞草研究所淲ait Until 8th害羞草研究所� pledge that has parents sign a pledge not to give their kids a smartphone until the 8th grade, or about age 13 or 14. Some wait even later, like 16 or 17.

But neither social media companies nor the government have done anything concrete to increase the age limit.

IF THE LAW WON害羞草研究所橳 BAN KIDS, SHOULD PARENTS?

害羞草研究所淭here is not necessarily a magical age,害羞草研究所� said Christine Elgersma, a social media expert at the nonprofit Common Sense Media. But, she added, 害羞草研究所�13 is probably not the best age for kids to get on social media.害羞草研究所�

The laws currently being proposed include blanket bans on the under-13 set when it comes to social media. The problem? There害羞草研究所檚 no easy way to verify a person害羞草研究所檚 age when they sign up for apps and online services. And the apps popular with teens today were created for adults first. Companies have added some safeguards over the years, Elgersma noted, but these are piecemeal changes, not fundamental rethinks of the services.

害羞草研究所淒evelopers need to start building apps with kids in mind,害羞草研究所� she said.

Some tech executives, celebrities such as and parents from all walks of life have resorted to . While the decision is a personal one that depends on each child and parent, some experts say this could lead to isolating kids, who could be left out of activities and discussions with friends that take place on social media or chat services.

Another hurdle 害羞草研究所� kids who have never been on social media may find themselves ill-equipped to navigate the platforms when they are suddenly allowed free rein the day they turn 18.

TALK, TALK, TALK

A more realistic and effective approach to social media, experts say, that gives children the tools and information they need to navigate a world in which places like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are almost impossible to escape.

害羞草研究所淵ou cannot just expect that the kids will jump into the world of social media, learn how to swim on their own,害羞草研究所� said Natalie Bazarova, a professor of communications and director of the Cornell Social Media Lab. 害羞草研究所淭hey need to have instruction.害羞草研究所�

Start early, earlier than you think. Elgersma suggests that parents go through their own social media feeds with their children before they are old enough to be online and have open discussions on what they see. How would your child handle a situation where a friend of a friend asks them to send a photo? Or if they see an article that makes them so angry they just want to share it right away?

For older kids, Elgersma says to approach them with curiosity and interest, 害羞草研究所渁sking about what their friends are doing or just not asking direct questions like, 害羞草研究所榃hat are you doing on Instagram?害羞草研究所� but rather, 害羞草研究所楬ey, I heard this influencer is really popular.害羞草研究所櫤π卟菅芯克鶟 And even if your kid rolled their eyes it could be a window.害羞草研究所�

Don害羞草研究所檛 say things like 害羞草研究所淭urn that thing off!害羞草研究所� when your kid has been scrolling for a long time, says Jean Rogers, the director of the nonprofit Fairplay害羞草研究所檚 Screen Time Action Network.

害羞草研究所淭hat害羞草研究所檚 not respectful,害羞草研究所� Rogers said. 害羞草研究所淚t doesn害羞草研究所檛 respect that they have a whole life and a whole world in that device.害羞草研究所�

Instead, Rogers suggests asking them questions about what they do on their phone, and see what your child is willing to share.

Kids are also likely to respond to parents and educators and the sometimes insidious tools companies use to keep people online and engaged, Elgersma said. Watch a documentary like 害羞草研究所淭he Social Dilemma害羞草研究所� that explores algorithms, dark patterns and dopamine feedback cycles of social media. Or read up with them how Facebook and TikTok make money.

害羞草研究所淜ids love to be in the know about these things, and it will give them a sense of power,害羞草研究所� she said.

SETTING LIMITS

Rogers says most parents have success with taking their kids害羞草研究所� phones overnight to limit their scrolling. Occasionally kids might try to sneak the phone back, but it害羞草研究所檚 a strategy that tends to work because kids need a break from the screen.

害羞草研究所淭hey need to an excuse with their peers to not be on their phone at night,害羞草研究所� Rogers said. 害羞草研究所淭hey can blame their parents.害羞草研究所�

Parents may need their own limits on phone use. Rogers said it害羞草研究所檚 helpful to explain what you are doing when you do have a phone in hand around your child so they understand you are not aimlessly scrolling through sites like Instagram. Tell your child that you害羞草研究所檙e checking work email, looking up a recipe for dinner or paying a bill so they understand you害羞草研究所檙e not on there just for fun. Then tell them when you plan to put the phone down.

WHAT ABOUT PARENTAL CONTROLS?

Social media platforms that cater to children have added an ever-growing array of parental controls as they face increasing scrutiny over child safety. For instance, Meta unveiled tools last year that lets parents set time limits, see who their kid follows or is followed by, and allows them to track how much time the minor spends on Instagram. It does not let parents see message content.

But as with similar tools on other platforms such as TikTok, the feature is optional, and both kids and parents have to agree to use it. In order to nudge kids toward agreeing to set up the controls, Instagram sends a notice to teens after they block someone, encouraging them to let their parents 害羞草研究所渟upervise害羞草研究所� their account. The idea is to grab kids害羞草研究所� attention when they might be more open to parental guidance.

By making the feature optional, Meta says it is trying to 害羞草研究所渂alance teen safety and autonomy害羞草研究所� as well as prompt conversations between parents and their children.

Such features can be useful for families in which parents are already involved in their child害羞草研究所檚 online life and activities. Experts say that害羞草研究所檚 not the reality for many people.

U.S. Surgeon General it害羞草研究所檚 unfair to expect parents to manage what their children do with rapidly evolving technology that 害羞草研究所渇undamentally changes how their kids think about themselves, how they build friendships, how they experience the world 害羞草研究所� and technology, by the way, that prior generations never had to manage.害羞草研究所�

Putting all of that on the shoulders of parents, he said, 害羞草研究所渋s just simply not fair.害羞草研究所�

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